Today hurts…. I’ve been contemplating why it hurts so much for the past few hours and it suddenly hit. It’s Trip’s birthday and I’m not at home. The tears are pouring down my face as I write this out. I remember the day of his birth like it was yesterday. I had no idea that morning that this boy would capture my heart so swiftly and with such passion. He made a very fast entrance; just 45 minutes from start to finish. I can nearly count each contraction of my labor. I was certain that day that there had never been such a beautiful baby boy, none quite as perfect.
Yesterday I was able to Skype with Trip for 30 minutes… it was almost like he and I were in the same room together, after 3 weeks apart. He said he wanted to “punch into the computer” so he could be with me and he told me he’s saving kisses for me. He described the train track he drew on paper for his Thomas train and told me what he was eating for lunch, an apple and left-over macaroni and cheese cupcakes.
Sweet boy, mommy is so proud of the big boy you are becoming. You are kind, sensitive and funny. You keep mommy laughing and you’re quick to notice when mommy is sad. I’m sure at this moment you’d climb on my lap and say, “You sad, mommy?” and then wipe the tears followed by a big kiss on my cheek. I wish I were home to sing “Happy Birthday To You” at least a dozen times because you love the attention. I’d draw you pictures of penguins & unicorns, and then we’d eat cupcakes and noodles and I’d wrap you up in my arms at 10:21 am, the moment you arrived. I love you…. I miss you desperately and can’t wait to see you very soon.